Sunday, May 3, 2009
I'm still freaking out. Thursday (the neurologist appt) can't come fast enough. I'm a roller coaster . . . one minute, I look at her and just know that everything is going to be fine, and then the horrible "what if's" creep in the next minute. How do you stop that?
In spite of me being a mess, the three of us had a nice day - grocery shopping in the morning (with Sam in the carrier on my chest), a walk in the afternoon, lots of naps together.
After our walk, I took her out of the carrier and laid her on the couch on a blanket while I took the carrier off me. She was WIPED out and stayed sleeping like this, glasses and hat on, for 30 minutes. Oh and the second pictures, she's sound alseep . . . her favorite place to nap -- on a boppy in one of our laps.
She's so beautiful. She HAS to be okay! Has to has to has to. I am trying to keep myself together. I don't want Brian to feel like he has to take care of me. I know he's worried about me, and I feel like that's not fair . . . but I don't know how not to worry like this! He let me sleep in this am, and got up with the Bean. I love watching him with her. I love being the "three" of us. Nothing has ever felt so wonderful and right. I just want Thursday to come . . . and to have some answers!