Monday, September 29, 2014


Mia is swimming without fins or floaties or anything now.  Just swimming.  Blows my mind.  And on Saturday, when Sammie saw Mia go, go, go for the first time with nothing on, she just said (squealed, actually):  "Look at Mia!  She's swimming without anything on! I'm so proud of her!" and my heart nearly burst.

I worried how it would feel for Sammie, and honestly, for me, when Mia conquered motor stuff before Sammie.  But just like when Mia took her first steps, Sammie is my guide.  She cheers the hardest and the loudest for all things Mia.  And every other feeling I could or that I thought I might feel just melts away, as I relish in the beauty that is each of my girls, and both of them. 

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Six Years of Sammie


She's six, and while my brain knows it is true, somehow, I can't believe it.  Six years of this little girl, who is suddenly looking and acting so grown up.  I keep thinking about what I want to say in her annual birthday letter, and honest-to-goodness, I haven't yet found the words to convey it all.  I never could have imagined I could love someone else so much until I became mama, and she was and is the perfect little girl to have made me a mama.  I adore her with every piece of my soul, am so, so proud of the little person she is, and I just can't believe she's six.  Six.  I'll keep searching within for the words for her birthday letter, but for now, just this.  Six.  Six years of my Sammie B, six years of magic, six years of awesome. 

Friday, September 19, 2014

Weepy Reminiscing

In just 5 days, my big girl will be 6, and in exactly 29 days, my little will be 3.  When people ask how old my kids are, I've already started saying that I have a six-year-old and a three-year-old.  It blows my mind, and I wish I could slow down time (except that each new age keeps getting better).   I'm traveling for work this week (just a quick one-night trip) which always, always leads to weepiness, but when I looked down at the date in the corner of my computer screen this morning and realized how very close we are to Sammie's birthday, my heart skipped a beat.  Six.  So fast.  She's been ready for her birthday for exactly 12 months (since the last party!) and she's had her party planned for nearly as many months (since the movie Frozen came out, to be exact, at which point, she declared she would definitely have a "Frozen" party), but I feel like I'm never ready to admit that another year has indeed flown past.  But it has.  She will be a six-year-old, Mia will be three, and we'll have a (joint) "Frozen"-themed party.   And then we'll start another year.  One that I hope is every bit as fabulous as the one we are putting behind us. 

With that, I leave you with the collages B created last year for their birthdays when my mind was blown over "5" and "2" (which I'd intended to post with their birthday letters last year but never did.  Time flies and all that, and I dropped this ball).  I love collages that show them growing.  That show time flying by in the most wondrous of ways.

This year, there will be birthday letters.  Promises. 

My Sammie B, from 4 months old (bottom left) to "5"

 November 2012 - September 2013
 Mia Mia, birth to age "2" - we lost the shirt to the bear we intended to be her birthday picture bear (and he looks ridiculous without it) so change of plans. 
 My two greatest loves.
Sammie B and Mia.  Your guess as to which one is which is as good as mine ;o)  (I *think* Sammie is on top!)
I love them with every inch of my soul.  I also really miss them right now and can't wait to fly home tonight and kiss their sweet cheeks while they sleep.  

Monday, September 15, 2014

This Day

If ever there was a day I would like to etch into my memory forever and ever, it would be last Sunday.  Just a few days before, I'd gotten an email from one of Sammie's new classmate's moms saying that her little boy was having an ice skating birthday party and had sent the invites out before school started and wasn't inviting the whole class, but really wanted Sammie to come . . . she'd already called the rink and asked if an adult could bring Sammie out on the ice, but understood if we couldn't swing it. 

Honestly, my gut reaction was to say "sorry, but we can't make it," as I've done with a few of the indoor playground types of parties that I know just won't have much for Sammie to do.  But I didn't.  Instead, I came home, asked B "how well can you ice skate?  well enough to keep you and Sammie up?"  He said he could (I knew I could not . . . I've only ice skated a handful of times in my life!) so I talked to Sammie about it.  Actually, I first told her that this certain little boy in her class really wanted her to come to his birthday party, and asked if she wanted to go.  She did. So then I said, "well, it's an ice skating party."  And she said, "well, I don't know exactly how I will ice skate!"  I told her that B thought he could take her out, and that we'd just give it a shot.  And so, we did. 

B and I both fully expected Sammie to get there and refuse to go out on the ice.  With things like this -- new physical activities -- she often really wants to go, until she gets there, and then she just wants to leave.  I think she just gets overwhelmed, and she is, after all, so very, very aware of her challenges.  Anyway, we decided not to go for the full two hours of skating and just went about 45 minutes before time for cake.  We got there, rented skates, and took Sammie to see the ice.  And then, they got out there.  At first, Sammie lifted her legs up, just for a minute, and refused to go, but B so very patiently coaxed her into putting her feet down, and then when she got a little scared (of the slippery ice) and kept picking her feet back up, he said, "You don't have to skate, just pretend you are walking."  And so that's how they ice skated -- two times around the entire rink.  B skating, helping her stay up, and her just walking (and chopping into the ice with her heels!) and squealing and giggling with absolute glee.  It was a moment I didn't expect, and I was so, so proud of her.  I stood by on the sidelines, running around the outside of the rink like a crazy woman trying to snap pictures (until my dumb phone died), holding Mia, tears in my eyes, and well, also squealing with my own glee.  It was awesome. awesome. awesome.  Sammie was so very proud of herself, and just absolutely stoked to be out there, doing it.  And her little classmates that were there (all boys!) were so excited to be out there with her.  There was so, so much joy.  Incredible.  My heart darn near burst.

After Sammie went around twice, Mia Mia also got brave (when we first got there, she'd clung to me and said she didn't want to skate) and so B and I traded girlies.  Sammie hung with me while B and Mia went around the rink.  A whole lot more squealing and giggling.  A lot more joy.

That night, I felt like I was floating on air.  I kept looking back at the pictures, hearing Sammie say "Well, I don't know exactly how I will ice skate," and then picturing her doing it with the help of her dad, and the encouragement of her peers.  As I sat looking at the pictures, B walked in and said "I keep looking at the pictures from today!  I'm just so proud of her!"  Yep.  So proud. 

The day I watched my three favorites ice skate, two of them for their first time.  This day goes down in the books as one of my favorites ever. 

So, so proud of these two little girls.  And also so, so grateful that they've got this guy as their dad.  I'm pretty lucky to be sharing this life with these three.