Mia Mia

Oh Mia, how is it possible that you've been on this earth nearly ten and a half months?  Time is just whizzing by. 

In the last month or so, you've gone from a "no thanks on the cuddling" kind of girl to a total snuggler and I love it.  You play, play, play and just crawl around and explore everything until suddenly, you need some "lovin" and you come crawling over, and put your head in your dada's or my lap, and just lay there for a few seconds, until you are off again.  And, when I drop you off at day care in the morning, I put you down, and you crawl as fast as you can to your teachers, pull yourself up to stand (using their clothes) and lay your head on their shoulder, like you've just missed them so much.  You, my darling, have, without question, become a snuggler.

You are so curious about everything.  Your dada and I joke that you are a total busy body because when we are out at restaurants or stores, you make friends with everyone, and are constantly craning your neck to look around us to see what everyone else is doing.  You point to things and then look at us, waiting for us to tell you what it is, and then smile so big when we do.  It is a fun little game.

In the days after your sister's MRI last month, when I'd also just lost my Aunt Sandy, I was so, so sad, and there were days I didn't really want to get out of bed.  Worried about the MRI, sad about my aunt, grieving for my cousins who'd lost their mother, and my mom, who'd lost her sister, missing my own mom -- I was a mess.  That week, I worked from home some, and in the late afternoons, I put you in bed with me for naps.  I often couldn't fall asleep, but I just laid there, watching you breathe, watching you sleep, and somehow, I felt calmer.

You truly have, in a way that words just can't describe, brought a different sense of calm over this little family in the last ten months.  Your dada and I have both said so.  I can't explain why, but you have. 

And, tonight, at not quite ten and a half months old, you took your first independent steps.  Just three or four at a time, but you did it!  I won't get caught up in the working mama guilt that I missed the first ones because they happened while I was stuck in traffic coming home.  That doesn't matter -- when I saw you do it again, just a little while later when I got home, the joy was just the same.  I promise.  I am so, so proud of you.

When (if) you read this someday, there's something I want you to know.  Out of our little family, guess who was the most excited and cheered the loudest as you took those few steps tonight?  Your big sister.  And, later, when we asked her who was your biggest cheerleader, she said, "me!"

You two girls will write your own stories, but I hope you always cheer each other on, through your own unique journeys, just as she cheered for you tonight.

Thank you, my darling, for every ounce of joy and calm and love you've added to this little family.

Mama