Hot Mess Turns 33

I am, admittedly, a mess these days.  Things at home are in a rough spot, I'm a tad swamped at work (and having trouble focusing on work; you know that feeling where you know you HAVE to just keep plodding along, so you do, even though you'd really like to just go back to bed?  That's where I am.).   My birthday fell right in the middle of all this messiness -- I turned 33 yesterday.   I'll say this . . . it certainly doesn't go down in history as one of my best birthdays, but if it turns out to be the worst one I ever had, then I guess that's okay.   And, most definitely, there were highlights.   Amazing moments.

Like when Sammie B spontaneously sang the "Happy Birthday"song to me! (Many times).  My heart felt so full. 

And when both girls came downtown with our nanny to lunch with me, and Sammie B just pounded away on my keyboard doing what was probably very important work while Mia crawled around my office floor and flirted with everyone who stopped by.  My heart felt so full.

When Sammie B found some old party hats and was thrilled to recycle and wear again!  My heart felt so full.

Or when, after work Sammie B kept saying, "It's birthday time!" because she was ready for cake.  My heart felt so full.

And when, the littlest one couldn't stay awake for "birthday time" and dozed in her high chair between me and her sister while B served the cake (that he surprised me with) and ice cream.  My heart felt full.  

(P.S. Sam never actually wants to EAT ice cream, she just asks for it, and even accepts ice cream as bribery even though nine times out of ten, once she gets the reward, she doesn't even take a bite; I think its just the thrill of the chase for her!)

And, I wore a new shirt, which I liked very much.  In spite of the mess that sort of clouded my day, I felt pretty.  And, I felt loved by my two girls and proud that at 33, I have two little girls that make my heart so full it feels like singing . . . . because they do.   At 33, I am proud of the woman that I am, and more importantly, I'm proud of the mama I am.   And, mostly, I'm just thrilled that its these two that I get to be "mama" too.  

And, now I just hope the coming year is a fabulous one that brings a whole lot of good to my little family and little bit of healing to the messier stuff in my life right now.