Monday, September 27, 2010
Birthday Letter To My Magical Little Bean
Dear Sammie B,
I find it so very hard to believe that TWO years have passed since you made your entrance into the world. In some ways, it seems like just yesterday, I was sitting in the rocking chair in your room, feet propped up (doctors' orders) while on bed rest, reading the "Little Love Bug" book to you while you were in my belly; but in other ways, it feels like you've been a part of me, a part of us, forever. Daddy and I often say how we barely remember our lives before you. And, we certainly can't imagine our lives without you.
As I sit here thinking about what to type, I wonder what you'll be thinking someday when you read this. What will you want to know about you, about us, about our little family at this very moment?
At two years old, Sam, you are magical. Seriously. When people ask me how you are doing, or how motherhood is, or anything along those lines, the only word I can ever come up with that even comes close to capturing YOU, to capturing how it feels to be your mama, is "magical." Because all the other words, they seem too simple, or too small, to describe the magic that is Sammie B. You are the most loving, sweetest little two-year old I could imagine . . . from your flirtatious little grin to strangers in restaurants, to the way you reach for us when we walk in the door, smiling from ear to ear, to your sweet sweet hugs (complete with you rubbing and patting our backs!), or your constant little kisses and cuddles, you my sweet girl, are magic.
You are also a funny little lady. You have recently started really hamming it up .... making funny faces (like your stink face) to see if Daddy and I will do them back to you. Fake crying. Putting daddy's underwear on your head while he folds laundry. TONS of giggles. That is you. Giggles. If I could bottle up your sweet giggles (or the sweet way you say "Mama" in such a soft little voice) to keep forever, I would. Because I know that someday, your little girl giggles will turn into big girl giggles, then grown-up laughter, but my hope is that you will always take time for the giggles, smiles, and hugs. Because THAT'S where the magic lies!
You love to play with the play kitchen at PT (and hopefully you'll love your new one here as well!). You love babies. You LOVE your "Baby Signing Times" dvds sooo much and you ask for them (via sign) so many times during the day and get so very excited when we put them in. You also ask me to sing you the "baby song" from the end of one of those dvds at night when you are falling asleep: "I know this is where I'm meant to be. I'm so glad that my baby is you." I sing those lines over and over and when I stop singing, you sign "more, more." You don't have many words just yet, but through your signs (which you pick up so quickly) and your smiles and your eyes, you communicate everything to us. Magic.
You are the hardest working little two-year-old I know. You have therapy 5 times a week (plus swimming) and yet, you handle (most) of it with smiles and laughs. You only cry when its really really hard, and we understand. I wish more than anything that you didn't have to work so hard. But this is your story, sweet girl. And though sometimes all the therapies and doctor appointments are a little overwhelming to me and daddy, its only because we care so very very much. Because we want, more than anything, to find a way to make things easier for you. My greatest hope is that WE open all the right doors for you . . . to enable you to be your best self. Your incredible little magical self.
I must tell you I love you at least 20 times a day, and I probably think it hundreds more. My heart is so full of love for you, I can't even put it into words. And just when I think its impossible to LOVE anymore than I already do, I find myself staring at you as you take in the world, or figure something new out, or share a giggle with daddy, and suddenly, suddenly, my heart feels like its going to burst, and I fall even more in love. So though things might not always be easy, they are magical and wonderful and so so full of love.
I love seeing the world through your eyes. Even places we've been before are made magical by taking you there . . . because we get to see them as you do. Sometimes, I look at you, then look at daddy and say things like, "she melts me." You do. In a way I didn't even know was possible until I became "mama."
My sweet girl, I have so very many dreams for you. But I know that YOU will show us which dreams are meant for you, and I can't wait wait to live them with you.
To my magical little Bean . . . Happy Second Birthday . . . I love you with all my heart, and because of you, somehow, my heart just keeps growing.
I'm so lucky to be your mama. I'm so glad that my baby is you.