[Picture from our trip to Tahoe]
I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be able to convey in words what I'm feeling right now . . . but I'm going to give it my best.
Tonight as I watched Sammie B playing with her speech therapist (oh yes, our week now includes 2x ST, 2x PT, 1x OT, and 1 swim lesson!), I was just overwhelmed with LOVE for her. I don't think its possible to fall any MORE in love with her than I already am, but lately, when I sit back and watch her interact with others, I just feel so amazed by her. It is difficult to put into words really, but I think its just sitting there watching her interact, seeing her follow directions, pick what (and how) she wants to play, watching her show affection and communicate what she wants and laugh at people's jokes, etc. . . watching her BE her OWN little person. It is amazing really. I felt this way when we went on our vacation (which I'll eventually post pictures from) and I watched her with her older cousins. She was clearly MADLY in love with them, and stoked anytime she got to be around them. And as I watched her with them (and them with her) I just felt overwhelmed with love and just utterly amazed by her. She's a little person. My favorite little person. My Sammie B.
Tonight, I sat quietly and just watched as she and her therapist played with Mr. Potato Head. Other moms whose kids do various therapies will probably relate to this experience (which I'm having a hard time putting into words), but as the therapist told her to do each thing (like find Mr. Potato Head's arm), I couldn't help but feel anxious. It is that feeling that your child is being evaluated, and wanting them to get it right. After all the evaluating we've been through, its hard to escape that knawing concern in these moments. But tonight, as she often does, Sam blew me away. She did things I didn't even KNOW she could do. Like when her therapist asked her to find Mr. Potato Head's arm in the bucket of potato head parts,(she knows HER arm, and doll's arms, etc., but I didn't know she'd be able to pick a random arm -- without a body -- out of a bucket of miscellaneous parts), she reached in and touched Mr. Potato Head's hair, picked it up (and I of course thought she thought THAT was the arm) and then she tossed that hair off to the side because TADA - the arm was right under that hair. She knew it. Amazed.
And that speech therapy session (only her third) was just overall GREAT. She even mimicked a bunch of the sounds the speech therapist was trying to get her to do, which is great . . . Sam always babbles a ton with us at home, but rarely with others. She's very quiet outside of her little comfort zone of family. But tonight, she even said "buhbuh" for bubbles! And last night, we got "bah" for ball . . . and she was SO proud of herself. Now she says "bah" everytime we pick up her ball.
Swimming also continues to go fabulously well - we had a lesson today (busy day!) and she was just kicking up a storm!!! She actually seems to understand that kicking her legs will propel her forward. And the movement in the pool is undoubtedly helping her build strength. Brian and I have both noticed she's using her lower body more -- like she's suddenly becoming more aware that she can manipulate those legs of hers too -- and we think that's likely coming from the pool time.
Sam is also signing much more. We didn't do sign language with her until recently -- didn't make sense to early on when we weren't so sure about her vision, and then with everything else in our lives, we just didn't focus on it, but lately, all of her therapists were encouraging us to sign with her, and we've been thrilled and amazed. She picks them up so quickly! She now signs "more," "all done," "milk," "water," "love," and "want." I feel like those signs have opened up the pathways of communication for us so beautifully, and definitely help Sammie B with her frustration . . . we are now working on "help," though fine-motor wise, that one is a bit harder for her.
Our favorite newest Sammie B thing is that when she is pooping, and is done, she signs "all done." Sometimes, when we think she's done, we say, "are you all done pooping?" and she'll sign "more." And, she's always accurate :o) Pretty funny! Sammie may be a long way from potty training, because of her motor skills, but the awareness of her functions is clearly there!!!
Our week is filled with therapies, and Sammie B's life is filled with more "work" than any toddler's should be, but its all just part of her story. And today's chapter was a good one.
Sammie B, you amaze your mama. I'm lucky to be yours.
