Sunday, November 22, 2009

My Schedule Is Mocking Me

This week, my "reduced" schedule has been mocking me, laughing in my face. 80 hours--that's hardly reduced. This has been a VERY hard week for me. I've worked late, I've missed bedtime (twice) and I've had to rush out of the house in the mornings, and it stinks. I have been crazy busy at work (working on an interesting and challenging project, which certainly makes the days go by faster) but also missing time with my Bean and my B, and that just stinks.

In fairness to the partners I work with, however, I have to say . . . the reason for the eighty hour week is a bogus emergency motion filed by the other side in one of my cases, which is just an example of why "reduced" or "alternative" schedules are so hard for litigators to make work. But, I'll keep trying . . .

Sammie B has been totally content of course (though I like to think missing me, just a little ;)), hanging out at home with her Nana . . . who came in this week to take care of her since our beloved nanny is out of town.

It makes me so happy that my Bean is so so loved. I could tell she enjoyed the time with B's parents, because she was all smiles everytime I saw her. I know her smiles melt their hearts just as they do ours.

She is growing so fast -- PT is trucking along, and OT too. We had quite the surge of new (or improved) skills last month (with cobra, rolling, etc.) but I think we are hitting one of the plateaus (motor-skill wise) that are normal in child development, which are always hard for us (and I think for any parent of a child with delays; the "plateaus" can invoke worry and fear and all the things we try to avoid). But the funny thing is, while the motor developments might have plateaued (a temporary thing, I remind myself), Sammie B is taking off in other small ways . . . doing "big-girl" things like drinking from a sippy cup, and feeding herself cookies like its HER JOB (which tickles Brian and I to no end), recognizing her body parts (I think, at least "feet" and "nose"), and following directions (well, some of them, but most certainly NOT "leave your glasses on Samantha.";)).

I'm not sure why she looks like she just got busted with vodka in her sippy cup in that second picture!

Her newest "trick" is sticking her tongue out at us when we stick ours . . . as soon as she sees ours, she gets a coy little grin, excited to show us hers!

Sammie B provides me with endless joy, and even now, as I sit at my desk on a quick break from work (while waiting for edits from the partner; don't worry, I'm not wasting what could be "billable" time . . . just "waiting" time), seeing these pictures, and thinking about how much joy Sammie B brings to mine and B's life just melts my heart. Not a day goes by that me or B do not comment on how wonderful it feels to be a little family.

And, even though my work is fun (most of the time), exciting, and challenging, and I want to set a good example for my daughter about how women CAN have whatever careers they want, there's also a part of me (a HUGE part of me) that just wishes I was there, not here, on this Sunday evening, and that I was sitting on the floor, playing with my Bean, and not pouring through a thirty-page brief. For now, though, until the brief is put to bed, I'll have to be content with the pictures (and grateful to have a hubby who is so supportive of my career that weeks like these don't make him want to run in the other direction; instead, he gets out his (figurative) pom poms and gives me all the cheerleading and support I need to make it through the days).

My sweet sweet Bean!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Welcome to the world of blawg. Nice to meet you.