Some days, I let myself get wrapped up in how HARD things are . . . how HARD it is to be a working mom, how hard it is to be "big firm" lawyer, how hard it is to be the mother of a pre-term babe with some developmental issues, how hard it is to fit wife and me into all of this . . . but then other days, I really am hit with how even though, yes, it is HARD, it is a great life. And sometimes, it is the little things that keep it all in perspective:
- Her gummy little grin has changed (over night it seems) into a toothy little one, but it is still as infectious and amazing as ever. How is it that this tiny little Bean is turning into a little girl?
- Sammie B's nanny has taught her how to shake hands. Its stinking cute! So, now she's got waving (not always just for "hello," and "bye bye" but also just to get someone's attention and sometimes just because), high-fives, shaking hands, and also this new thing we THINK means "give me." I sat at dinner with her tonight alternating between high-fives and shaking. Funny little lady!
- We've REALLY been working on clapping -- holding the outside of her hands and pushing them together to clap. She seems to WANT to do it, but hasn't yet. However, now one of her favorite things is to put her hands on the outside of our hands and clap OUR hands. She thinks it is hysterical and gets mad when we try to switch to put our hands on the outside to clap hers. I love that she has a mind of her own.
- She LOVES riding on daddy's shoulders.
- I had tons of work to do, and could have stayed at work all night to do it, but instead, I left and met Sammie B and B for dinner, and now I'll get my work done. And, I'm not even bitter about being up late working while they are sleeping. Instead, I just feel lucky to have them here with me.
- Tonight, as I rocked my Bean to sleep, singing "Itsy Bitsy Spider" (the ONLY song that works on cranky over-tired nights like tonight, she actually cries if I try to switch songs on her), I kissed her sweet cheeks and said, "you are perfect. thank you for letting me love you." And, I meant it.
Tonight, life is good. Even if I am up late working!