I can't be totally wordless, even though this picture sort of speaks for itself.
Lately, I can't stop thinking about how perfect our little Mia fits into our family. How wonderful "being four" feels. I feel like I always read things where people have a baby and then like the next day or the next week, they are saying "I already can't remember my life before him/her," and right after Mia was born, things felt hard. I was exhausted. And, I'd read stuff like that and think, "oh but I do remember life before her. I slept more. I felt pulled in fewer directions. I had more time to devote to Sam, and well, I just felt like I had my life, our life, more under control." During those first months as a family of four, things felt crazy. I was overwhelmed. We were overwhelmed. I felt guilty admitting that, like it was somehow like saying "I wish we hadn't . . . " and that's not what I meant or felt, but wow. Things were hard.
But now, just five point five months later, and you know what? I remember our lives before her. As a family of three, we were fabulous. But, as a family of four . . . we are even moreso. Because she is part of us. And these two . . .
These two little girls are sisters. And, there's nothing I love more than watching them grow.
Last night, Mia was wearing her tye-dyed onesie and Sammie B requested to put on her matching t-shirt. When Mia was at day care the other day, Sammie B asked, all day, to go "pick Mia up!" This morning, I told Sammie B I was going to take Mia to her "baby school" (that's what I've been calling day care) and then go to work and Sammie B said "how about we all go to baby school?"
I'll admit it. By having another, I worried so much about what that could take away from our Sammie B. My first-born. How I'd feel pulled in different directions and whether that would keep me from giving Sammie B all that she needed. But now? Now, I get it. Mia won't "take" anything from Sammie B. Instead, our girls are amazing gifts to each other. Sisters.