Another Kind of Transition . . .

And this one is the kind that's hardest on the mama!

Tonight is the night. Or so B says. I'm not ready, but I don't think I'll ever be. All of my excuses are over (the rails are finally on, the mattress pad came, etc. etc.)

So, it is time. We will (attempt) for the Bee to go from sleeping like this:



to sleeping in her very own big girl bed.



She loves her bed. When we go in her room, she smiles and gets excited, and when I ask her whose bed it is, she pats her chest and says "my" for "mine." We've napped in it a few times and when I ask her if she wants to sleep in her bed, the answer is always "yeah." But, I'm not so sure she'll dig it as much when she realizes the big girl bed is for her alone.

This transition is without-a-doubt worthy of a much longer post, but I'm at work (on a Sunday, though I'm not complaining . . . as I've said, work has been slow and steady for months - I literally haven't worked all day on a weekend in so long, the work is interesting, challenging and exciting, and Bean is home spending a day with her dada), so the longer post will have to wait.

But as I sit here, working, I can't help but think about how nice it has been to share our bed with this little bee for the last year, how nice its been to feel her snuggling up to me in the middle of the night, and even how nice its been to (sometimes) wake up like this:



. . . and I'm wondering, "Can I do this?" Am I READY for this?

(PS - I'm so very proud of myself for finding this bedding, which is PERFECT bedding for our Bee! Here's a better detail shot, and since the above-picture was taken, we've also gotten really cute bee wall decals and a bee throw-pillow)



(PPS - No, I don't smile while I sleep . . . I was fake sleeping in these pictures. You know, for dramatic effect. But Sammie B was real sleeping. I was just trying to capture the moments :o))

The Year of the Bee!

I know I declared 2010 "The Year of the Bean," but I'm comfortable making this year the year of the "BEEE!" because, let's face it, EVERY year can be Sammie B's year if its up to me :o)

My hopes for 2011 are simple:

- Less doctor's visits
- More smilestones
- Even more giggles and love (if that's possible!)
- More "positive motion"
- That Sammie B's pre-school program proves to be, as we think it will be, PERFECT for her, and that she will continue to thrive there.
- To feel more often like I am actually "doing it all" -- with work, mama'ing and wife'ing
- More quality time with Mr. B

I read through my post from New Years last year, and I realize we -- all of us -- have come so so far this year. Our Sammie B can do so much more than she could this time last year - more words (including her newest, "Gigi" which has made Gigi's entire year!), more movement, more everything.

And, B and I have learned so much. I think the biggest lesson I've learned is that life never stops throwing curve balls, and while I can't catch them all (or control when they come, how fast they come or anything about them), I can adapt. And, I can adapt well. We can continually readjust our "new normal" and that's okay. We are okay. We are better than okay. We are fabulous. Our home is so so full of love and giggles, and our girl is so very very happy, safe and loved. And that feels good.

I've learned that I can wish and hope and wish and hope, but little Bee is writing her own story. And, I think I've found peace with that (not easy for a control freak!). In reading last year's post, I know that when I wrote that eating ham on New Years day is supposed to bring "positive motion," I was wishing and hoping for walking in that post . . . and while our sweet girl isn't walking yet, she is doing one heck of a butt scootch (which gets here where she needs to go most of the time); taking lots more assisted steps (and enjoying it!!!); and doing THE transition. So, see? We got our "positive movement," but her way, not mine. Yet. And, that too is okay. Inchstones. Her story. Not mine.

And so today, we will celebrate New Years just as we did last year -- a family dinner, including Sammie B's nanny (and the addition of Gigi this year) . . . with traditional southern fare -- ham (for "positive movement"); black-eyed peas (for prosperity); and greens (for MONEY!). What a wonderful way to ring in the new year!

2010 was good. Sure, it brought its worries and panic (like the MRI in January, the Hopkins visit in December and a few other appointments in the middle) but in all, it was still a great year. A year so very full of love. The "my heart is so full it might explode" kind of love. The very best kind.

And, here's to hoping 2011 is even better. Little Bee, this is your year. May the inchstones continue . . . slowly making their way into smilestones. I will, no doubt, be giddy with joy over each and every one of them. Because that, my little girl, is what you do to me.

A Merry, Magical, Wonderful Christmas Indeed!

So far, of all the Christmases of my whole life, this one was my favorite . . . it really is true that experiencing Christmas through the eyes of your child increases the magic exponentially!

We started our official Christmas festivities by celebrating with our much-loved nanny on the 23rd. We had dinner and exchanged gifts. Sammie B most definitely got into the spirit of receiving! Every time we asked, "who should open the next gift?," her answer was "MEEEEE!" Eventually we learned, and when it wasn't her turn, we gave choices, like "who should open the next gift, mama or dada?," and she'd pick one of us. One of my favorite moments of that night was when she opened a new outfit, and immediately grabbed the shirt and held it up to her, and beamed for the camera, like "hey, I know . . . this is a new thing for ME to wear!" Pretty stinking cute!



Then, Christmas Eve morning, Sammie B slept in (B and I decided we weren't going to rush to Disneyland and fight the early morning crowds . . . we'd get there when we got there, and just enjoy our morning and our day) and then opened a few presents from her Nana and Papa on skype.




She also showed them how much she's enjoying taking some (assisted) steps, which I'm pretty sure made their entire day (and week!).

Then, we were off . . . we drove to Disneyland, both commenting how cool it is to live so close AND how fabulous it was after a week and a half of non-stop rain to be wearing short-sleeves and have sunshine on Christmas Eve!!



Everything about our time at the HAPPIEST place on earth was just magical. The funny thing is, several years ago, B and I went to D-Land for a firm event, and we commented (then) on how it seemed so much more fun just the two of us . . . we looked around and saw kids throwing tantrums, whining about lines, begging for expensive souvenirs, and we giggled about how lucky we were to be enjoying D-Land, just the two of us, without all that extra stress . . .

We were so so wrong. Because obviously, something changes when you are there with YOUR child. (Well, and of course, Sammie B is an angel . . . no tantrums or begging!). But truly, seeing everything at Disneyland through Sam's eyes was MAGICAL. I cannot even imagine a better day. I literally had the biggest, goofiest grin on my face the entire day and even on the car ride home (as I thought, "I can't wait to go back!")

My favorite part of the day was probably riding Dumbo with Sam. She kept screaming and saying "whoah!" as we went up and down. I could not stop laughing! So, the second I got off, I said to B (who'd stayed off to take pictures of us), "you HAVE to ride that with her, she loves it!" so we went on Dumbo again, and I could hear B in the elephant behind me laughing as Sam screamed and giggled with absolute glee. The best.




Sammie B also rode the carousel, and hippotherapy must be paying off, because she was able to sit on the horse all by herself, though of course, B stayed CLOSE!!!



(Sometimes the inchstones are in the simple little moments, right?!)

We all bought mouse ears, though Sammie B didn't dig on hers (but enjoyed stealing dada's).



And, let me tell you, there's nothing like glancing over at your husband, seeing him wearing mouse ears (with a Santa hat on top) and pushing a stroller to make you realize you have somehow become not only grown-ups, but those grown-ups . . . the dorky kind you never thought you'd be. Or to make you realize how very much you love him. Because EVERYTHING about this picture makes me smile.



We waited in line to meet Mickey, and just as she'd been promising, Sammie B planted a big kiss on him. (We'd been asking, "what will you say when you meet Mickey Mouse?," and she'd make a kiss). We stayed for the parade, which was so pretty, and to see the D-Land all lit up at night with Christmas lights, and then, our sweet girl CRASHED.



Since Sammie B was oh so tired, we skipped the fireworks, and instead grabbed a quick dinner in downtown Disney, got our girl in her Cmas pjs, and headed home . . . to open ONE present (a Christmas book from Gigi and PawPaw) before Sammie B and B went to bed while I stayed up to get a few things done (and wait for Santa ;o)).



AND Santa DID come. Santa must read (as do I) Ellen's blog at Love That Max, because he brought Sam TWO of the presents Ellen had recommended (some of Max's favorite toys!) - a ball pit and a roller coaster! Santa must not have (as I did not) read the dimensions on these toys before he picked them for Sammie B . . . because we've now lost our living room.



And her face when she saw her new toys?! Made the significantly-reduced amount of space in our living room oh so worth it! (This was after sleeping until 10:15 AM!!! Tired girl after a day at Disney . . . normally I would think of that wake time as a gift, but I was so giddy with excitement for her to see her presents that I literally laid in bed staring at her, waiting for her to wake up!).



So we spent our day just playing and enjoying our new toys (and posing for a few silly Christmas pictures!).






After playing hard all day, we took a glorious Christmas nap, and then (as promised) headed OUT to dinner.



(Another reason to be thankful for where we live - a HOST of restaurants in Chinatown open to cater to those that don't celebrate Christmas, or those (like me) who don't feel like cooking!).

It truly was a magical Christmas. I remember as a kid, I'd fall asleep on Christmas night sad that the holiday was over and I'd have to wait a whole year to experience it again. This year, I fell asleep with a HUGE smile, thinking, "if each year Christmas gets better and better with her, I can't WAIT for next year."

So, thank you my sweet Bean, for all that magic that is YOU . . . on Christmas and every day of the year. Seeing the world through your eyes makes my day. Every day.

Random Musing and Reflections on My Alternative Work Schedule (Mostly For My Fellow MILPs*)

First, the random. Last night, I had a hair appointment - highlights and a cut, but all me-me-me time. I actually left work thinking there’d be tons of traffic, but there wasn’t, so I made it to the ‘hood where my hair salon is with 45 minutes to spare. In that amount of time, I managed to make a mad dash through two of my favorite stores -- Anthropologie and H&M. The line in Anthropologie was so long that I left, but not without falling in love with a certain purple jacket. I’m going to check after Christmas and see if it is on sale. So, then, with only 20 minutes to spare, I ran into H&M. That store is sort of a new one for me, but I’ve started going there for cute, cheap, trendy pieces that I know I won’t wear that often. I didn’t have time to try anything on, so I bought two sizes in a few things, hoping to wear something new to the office today. Yeah, well, they could learn a few things about vanity sizing. Even though I bought my size AND a size bigger, skin tight. Not office appropriate. Not even leave-the-house appropriate for a thirty-something year old, dignified lady such as myself. So, I’ll have to return all of that stuff. (Trust me, it is H&M, not me . . . I’m actually at my tiniest right now . . . as B JOKINGLY says, “anxiety looks good on [me].”). I read a deposition transcript while getting my hair done, and am finally finally feeling like I have a good grasp on the technology at issue in my case. So, all in all a good night. I’m not wearing anything new today (damn you H&M and your terrible sizing), but my hair looks good, and I’m taking my liberties with business casual (since there’s NO ONE in the office today) -- leggings, a sweater tunic, and ballet flats, a slightly younger, and more casual look than I'd usually do for the office. I think I look so good it is almost a shame there is no one to see ;o) With this upbeat attitude, I’m hoping to knock out some good work before heading home to do our holiday festivities/gift-exchange with our nanny tonight and gear up for the Disneyland festivities tomorrow.

Second, the reflections. As most of my MILP readers know, I’m on a “reduced” or “alternative” work schedule and have been for just over a year. I’m not THAT reduced. Basically, I just took a small percentage paycut to be responsible for a small percentage less of billables at year end.

We all hear stories of BigLaw attorneys who try the alternative work schedules, feel like they are getting reduced pay for full-time hours, and end up disenchanted with the whole thing. I won’t lie . . . there HAVE been times I’ve felt like that. I’ve billed 200+ hour months. But that was in trial, or leading up to trial. For the most part, I’ve managed my schedule well, and at the end of the year . . . billed less than I would have as a full-time, regular-schedule associate. Did I bill over my part-time commitment? Yes. Did I bill less than I would have had I not gone on the alternative/reduced schedule? YES. Has it been worth it to take the pay cut? ABSO-FREAKING-LUTELY.

I think the reason it has worked so well (besides a supportive firm and supportive partners) is that I’ve been flexible, and never lost sight of the fact that reduced-schedule or not, I’m part of a team. When we had deadlines that required working on my “off” day, I’ve tried to not let my reduced schedule lead to MY work being dumped on others, but I’ve also been careful to set clear boundaries when there weren’t deadlines requiring me to do something sooner rather than later, and taken advantage of the opportunity to work from home many days. With partners who never seemed to remember my schedule (and there are a few), I gave frequent reminders, like “sure, I’ll get that done, but remember, Tuesdays are my out-of-office day, so is Wednesday okay?” Yes, I have worked some Tuesdays, but I’ve also taken lots of Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, etc. off when needed. I’ve never had to miss a doctor’s appointment for Sam that I wanted to be at (and if you follow my blog, you know there have been lots of those). I billed over 250 hours in two weeks at trial, but I came home and took a MONTH off. So, while from week to week, my schedule hasn’t always been "reduced," over the course of the year, it most definitely has. And, I just think it would be hard to make a more rigid “reduced” schedule work in the world of litigation, without being demoted to some lesser part of the case team, which I knew I wouldn’t want. One of the greatest challenges to me has been adjusting to the ebb and flow, but that's true for ALL litigators. I fall into a groove where work is at a pretty steady, normal rate, where I feel like I truly am balancing my two worlds, and then BOOM!, a case gets insanely busy, and I have to readjust everything to figure out a new balance.

I have been sure to let the partners who have supported me in this KNOW how much I appreciate it. KNOW that my loyalty to this firm has been increased TEN-FOLD by the fact that they’ve helped me/allowed me to make this schedule work. To make it so that I don't have to be one of the women that "opt-out" of BigLaw to get reduced hours. I'm lucky that my "reduced" schedule hasn’t affected the quality of work I’ve been given, or the opportunities to join new cases. To be truthful, I HAVE turned down some of the opportunities I've been offered, and it hasn't been easy . . . when given the choice between traveling to a hearing or staying back to draft a motion, I chose the motion. In the moment, I worried I was making a silly career move, but at the time, we had a lot going on with Sammie B and so, it was just the right thing for our family. I know as a mom trying to balance it all . . . those moments will happen. I also believe I'll remember those moments far longer than the partners I work with (hope so). I believe that the partner that led that case probably remembers that the motion I stayed back and wrote was a winner, not that I didn't go to the hearing.

I’ve worked hard to make sure that the work that I have done has been my best. Sure, I’ve turned in things at times that weren’t my best (don't we all do that occasionally?) . . . but for the most part, I’ve really tried to make sure the quality of my work made up for the reduced quantity they had to evaluate me on. I’ve worked hard. Very hard, but the flexibility this schedule has allowed me . . . the psychological freedom actually more than anything . . . the amount that it’s allowed me to “let myself off the hook” so to speak in terms of feeling like I have to bill a million hours (both because that's what BigLaw associates do and because that’s who I am) . . . has been priceless. If I’d been a full-time regular schedule associate this last year, I still would have billed MORE than the minimum. It’s who I am. I don’t like to just “slide by.” I like to overachieve. So, I did. I came in above my minimum, which felt do-able to me, while still enjoying life and still being mom. And I feel good about it. Great actually. And most importantly, I feel like my firm has supported me in this, and that is a great relief.

(*MILP = "Moms in the legal profession")

Oh Sammie B, The Way You Do The Things You Do

If ever there were a picture that captures exactly who our Sammie B is, right now, this is it:



Sammie B, you are a lover. This sort of moment is a regular thing . . . we'll just be sitting around as a family, and you'll reach over and rest your little hand on one of our shoulders or legs, and just sit there like that. Or we'll be laying in bed at night, and you'll rub one of our backs, while we rub yours. You are a lover.

You are also REALLY into giving kisses right now. To ANY of your favorite book characters, to babies, to your stuffed animals, to us. When we tell you we love you, you usually immediately lean over for a hug and a kiss. Or sometimes, you just lean over and rest your head on our shoulder . . . your way of saying, "I know, I love you too." You are a lover.

You've recently told us that "Mummo" is your favorite person. Dada asked, "Sammie, who is your favorite person?" and you immediately said "Mummo" . . . I said, "that was mama, right?" and your dad laughed and said, "no I think its Elmo," and we asked again, and you shouted "MUMMO!" like "didn't I just tell you people this?" So, Elmo it is. I hope I'm at least second place ;o)

Lately, you just do so many things that amaze, surprise, and (of course) melt me. I'll be sitting at work, and think of some cute little thing you did the night before, and I can't help but smile to myself. Or I'll think of something new that you showed us that you knew, and I'll just beam with pride.

I know I won't possibly be able to remember all of my most recent favorite moments with you, but I'm going to give it my best.

When we were in Baltimore, twice you did signs that I didn't even know, and certainly didn't know you knew -- tree & bus. When we were getting on the shuttle bus at the hospital, you made the sign for "bus," and I looked at your dada and said, "is that bus?" And he said, "yes." You learned this one on your own, just from your videos. Same thing with "tree." We were walking past a Christmas tree in the hotel and you just signed "tree," which I didn't know you knew. See baby girl? You are amazing.

One of my most favorite things you do is that anytime you are "thinking," you put your finger to your chin and say "hmmmm." You learned that from your nanny, and it is 100% hilarious. I'll ask you, "do you want Elmo or your penguin?" or "where's the apple in your book?" or something similar and you immediately put that finger to your chin and say "hmmmmm" while you decide. I usually giggle (I can't help myself) and then, you'll look at me, giggle, and do it again while you finish thinking.

You now say the word "no" A LOT. And the super cute thing is that you have many different versions of no. For instance, a simple question like, "Sammie B, do you want some water?" might get a quiet, "uh, no." But a "do you want to go to sleep?" will get a very very determined "NO NO NO" every time. And the other day, you and I were just laying in bed, and we heard dude (your doggie) trotting up the stairs with something rattling in his mouth. You couldn't see him (nor could I) but you recognized the sound of your baby doll in his mouth, and you immediately screamed the most frantic "NO!" that could possibly come from your little mouth. That one made me laugh all day. And even better, when we were in Baltimore, and your dad had a SLIGHT case of road rage and was yelling at other drivers, you yelled "NO NO NO" right along with him. You are such a little ham, my girl.

You are also such a sensitive little girl. You know the sign for "hurt" and for "sorry" and whenever you need to use them, you do, but sorry always always always comes with tears. The other night, I was reading you a book about a dog named Spot, who got hurt, and needed a band-aid on his knee. On that page, you started crying. Little girl, you melt me. And tonight, when we discovered that Dude had chewed the nose off your Minnie Mouse stuffed animal, you just fell apart. I held you and you cried and I kissed Minnie's noseless face and promised we'd get a new one soon. Because you don't have the words to tell me yet, I'm never totally sure how much you understand, but tonight, my sweet girl, I knew you understood that your Minnie had lost her nose, and you didn't like it one little bit!

New words and word approximations seem to be popping up daily. You've now said "dool" for "school" and "pay" for "play" (which also happens to be your most frequently used sign). You are a quiet little girl who takes some prompting to use the words you do have, but they are coming, and even without words, you are so so communicative with us. There's rarely a moment where you can't tell us what you want, either through signs or words. You really are so so amazing.

As I type this, I'm keenly aware that some of our DD friends haven't yet found their voices, and some have lost them, and I know we are so very very blessed to have heard yours. As the words come, my heart soars, and I can't wait to hear all that you will tell us in your life. For now, you tell your stories with a few words, but mostly with signs, smiles, your many many expressions (you furrow your brow frequently when trying to figure things out, just like your mama!), giggles, hugs and touches, and we love it. Every single bit of it.

If I light up your world just a fraction of the amount you do mine, then I feel good about myself as a mama.

And Sammie B, from the tons and tons of messages, calls and texts we got before, during and after the big Hopkins appointment, it is so very clear (as it has been for awhile actually) that your fan club is widespread and huge. With your magical smile and loving personality, you have won the hearts of many. It is what you do. It is part of your magic. And I know, my girl, that as you add new words and new skills, your fan club members are beaming right along with me and your Dada.

Love,
Mama

Back to the Holiday Cheer

As it usually does, the "ship" has sort of righted itself. I'm feeling better, trying to stay on top of things at work (or I guess, get on top of things, because "stay on top" sort of assumes I'm already on top, and I'm not), and Sammie B is recovering from her cold too. We all had a better night of sleep last night. The "simplify" the holidays plan is also still in force, and we are indeed dining out for Christmas. We will, however, be doing something SUPER fun on Cmas Eve, assuming the weather cooperates -- DISNEY LAND!!! We realize its going to be insanely busy, but Sam really is enjoying characters and Christmas and all that jazz this year, AND its the last year she'll qualify for free admission so we are going to go for it. I've never seen the Land decorated for the holidays, so we are all pretty stoked.

Eventually, I'll finish the draft posts I have started, but can't seem to finish, but for now, Christmas cheer in photos . . . three years worth!

2010 (with a smile!)



2009 (completely frozen, like "maybe if I don't move, this red guy won't notice my parents just plopped me on his lap")



and 2008 . . . barely a pea on Santa's lap



Sam knows what Santa says this year, "Ho Ho Ho!" and has been enjoying handing off presents to her therapists, so it truly has been a fun season. She LOVES Christmas trees, and both signs and says "chi" every time she sees one, including ours. When we saw Santa, we asked her what she wanted to tell Santa she wanted for Christmas, and she signed "tree" immediately. So, she's in the spirit. Mama's getting there.

Irritability, Insomnia, Blech.

I have NEVER in my life been one who couldn't sleep. Like ever. I consider it a talent that I can fall asleep anywhere, anytime. Concrete floor? 15 minute power nap? Done. Even when I'm really worried about something, sleep is my escape. I'm a stress sleeper, not non-sleeper.

So, I've been completely thrown by the fact that for the last several nights, I have NOT been able to sleep. It is not like I've been worried about Sam. I haven't. The Hopkins trip left me in a good place, and I've been feeling so hopeful and optimistic. But, for several nights, I've just been laying in bed with my wheels spinning until like 4 am.

Part of it is the holidays. So much to do. Shopping, meals, etc. B was raised Jewish and just LOVES Christmas (he says he was "cheated" out of it his whole life) so we always make a big deal out of it. This year, its just the three of us, and I didn't want to disappoint, so I planned on making a Christmas meal just for the three of us. But then I realized, B is all about the "joy" of the holiday, but I take on all the work. I did all the shopping, all the gift-selecting, all the wrapping, etc. etc. And I'm stressed. Work HAS picked up (as promised) and I have a lot on my plate. I lay in bed thinking about all I have to do, thinking I should just get up and DO it (since I'm not sleeping anyway) but I don't. Because really, who wants to get up at 1 am and read patent file histories?

But two nights ago, sometime in the wee hours of the morning, I realized I have to simplify this holiday for myself. Because something has to give. So, there will be no Christmas dinner at our house. We'll be going out (for Chinese!). We'll have a big New Years Day meal when my mom is here the following week, and that's enough. I can't do it all, and there's no reason to try.

Sweet Sammie B also came down with a cold, and hasn't been sleeping well. She's been a congested little hot mess, and wakes up crying during the night. And B is NO help in the middle of the night. He says really helpful things like, "SAM, you are fine," and rolls over and goes back to sleep while I comfort and soothe. The problem is, I know that part of it is that in those moments, she ONLY wants me. He'll try to comfort her and she'll say "no" and roll over for me. So, he gives up and lets me do it. And the thing is, my heart melts that she wants me. Me. That I'm the one she goes to for comfort. That's "mom." I work with women whose kids could care less whether it is their mom, dad or nanny comforting them in those kinds of times (and even some where the moms readily admit they play second fiddle to dada in those moments) and I know that wouldn't be enough for me as a mom. Pre-baby, I might have thought so. I would have thought that's what equality and co-parenting is all about in a dual-income family. Post-baby, post-Sammie B, it would kill me if she didn't want me. So, its sort of a double-edged sword . . . I want her to want me more than anyone else in those moments, but I'm tired as hell the next day, and resentful that B gets to sleep through it all. And, I'm not really sure what the answer is. (This is where I'm hoping for comments, advice, some commiserating). I do know that laying in bed wanting to clobber B in his sleep is probably NOT the healthiest way to deal.

I remember in law school I attended a symposium about work-life balance, and a sociologist presented findings from a study that showed that even in non-traditional families (where the moms were the sole or primary breadwinners), moms still did more than 50% of the family management, child-rearing type of stuff. I definitely do. I pay the bills, I "manage" Sam's services, I'm the one that does most doctors appointments with her, etc. Part of this is because my job, while requiring many many more hours than B's does, is more flexible, but I think part of it is just being "mom." I wouldn't be happy if I couldn't do those things. I'd feel like a failure. Because I WANT to be the one at doctors appointments, etc. I want to be the one sitting in the waiting room at the doctor's office with my sick kiddo, not waiting at work to get a call from someone else with the results. B says that I do more than my share because I'm a control freak and won't let anyone else help. I know that there may be some truth to that, but other times, I think it is just a shitty cop out.

Anyway, that's how I'm feeling today. I haven't blogged in a while, but before I get back to my regularly scheduled programming (I have drafts! with Christmas cheer! and pictures!), I needed to get this off my chest.

And, Sammie B seems to be recovering from her little cold - we did go to the doctor today, I missed half a day of work because there was an hour and a half wait, even though we made an appointment - just a cold/congestion with an irritated throat, we got an antibiotic and she's on the mend. Oh, but I looked up side effects for the prednizone my own doctor prescribed me last week to hopefully (once and for all) get rid of the horrendous cough I've had for 4 weeks, and "insomnia" and "irritability" were at the top of the list. Hmmmm. Maybe that's why I can't sleep and want to clobber my husband while he does.