Wordless Wednesday: It Takes Two.

Just back from a 5 day trip to Northern California to see family for Thanksgiving.  More to come on that (Should I stop saying "more to come"?  Because really, I'm not sure when the TIME for more is going to walk into my life, and I despise empty promises).

Suffice it to say, my two little girls had so, so much fun playing with their cousins.  There were enough little girl giggles in those five days to carry me for months.  Sunshine, giggles, little girls, princess costumes, Christmas trees (that we cut down), coloring, crafts, hot chocolate and a whole lot of other fun stuff!

These two take my breath away.  Over and over and over.   

You're One (and then some!)

Dearest Mia Mia, 

Let me first say this . . . the timing of my birthday letter to you (one month late) is a reflection of nothing more than how busy life has been.  As a second child myself, I remember once finding my baby book and my older brother's baby book and feeling so sad that my mom had spent so much more time on his.  I now know that that was a reflection only of the fact that she was busier by the time I came around.  Busy hugging, cuddling, loving two instead of just one.  Busy watching my brother and I become friends.  Busy with so many wonderful things. 

Just as we've been busy!  Busy laughing, giggling, smiling, hugging, celebrating (birthdays!), busy watching you and your sister fall more and more in love with each other everyday.  Watching you greet her in the morning with your biggest smile of the day, a hug and a kiss. Busy watching the two of you become friends (with the usual sister quarrels over toys thrown in!).  The moments when you spontaneously hug or kiss her (or she does the same to you or she says, "I love you Mia Mia") are the moments that keep me going even on my worst days. You truly are like the perfect little puzzle piece that made this little family of three into four.  

My love, our year with you has been so, so busy, but so, so full of wonderful. 

You are the most energetic, curious and busy little girl I know.  You amaze and amuse me every single day over and over.  As we all sit in the den each night and play after dinner, you are up exploring things.  Throwing things (non-trash items!) in the trash can (we now check the trash for those items before taking it out as a matter of habit), hiding toys in cabinets, climbing on everything.  You are Miss Independent.  It is incredible, and I marvel at you.  But you wonder around the room, being so independent, yet every few minutes, you swing by one of us for a quick hug and kiss before you are back off again.  Those frequent hugs and kisses, the ones that are all your idea, are one of my most favorite parts of being your mama.  

You have a coy little smile that lights up my world.  When I come home (or walk into the room) and you see me, that smile spreads across your face, and you come toddling toward me, arms outreached . . . and my heart melts.  Over and over.  

A few months ago, when we realized you were officially a full-time walker, I finally took you out to have your feet measured and buy some shoes.  We got you sparkly maryjanes and some hot pink tennis shoes, and you LOVE them.  That night, you kept going and getting one of your shoes and handing it to me and throwing your feet up in the air like "put them on, woman!"   I'm pretty sure you are gonna have style, my girl!

You do everything big, my love.  You smile big, you laugh big (though infrequent -- you actually smile all the time, but don't laugh often, but when you do, its a full on belly laugh), you eat big (we haven't found a food you wouldn't try, and getting samples at Costco is a day in heaven for you!), you throw big temper tantrums, you hug big (and often), you love big, and without even trying, you've inspired and motivated your sister in a big way.   My girl, you just do life in a big, big way, and we love that about you.  

Mia, like most moms that have more than one child, I think I worried before I knew you how I'd find room in my heart to love two girls. But you know what?  It really was as if (as everyone said it would be) the second you were born, my heart just multiplied infinitely in size.  The amount of love I have for you and your sister is incredible to me -- there are no words -- but the every day moments with each of you, the my-hearts-so-full-i-think-it-might-burst moments, never stop coming, and I wouldn't have it any other way.  

I love you my littlest girl. I hope you keep doing life in your BIG Mia Mia way.  You have an energy about you that is indescribable, and I marvel at you every single day.  And I know, you are just going to keep on giving us moments to marvel.  

Mia, Mia, happy first birthday my darling!

Your ever lovin' mama

xo

These Are a Few of Our Favorite Things . . .

Sitting Together at Sammie's (now, by default, "their") little table





I promise, the look of disdain on Sammie B's face is directed at the sandwich we insisted she have if she wanted Halloween candy, not at her sister!

Painting

Hugs (oh the hugs!! This is now how Mia likes to begin her day, every day, with a hug and kiss from her big sister!)

 

Parallel Bars



Back when Sammie B was at her EI center-based program, I often tried the parallel bars with her, but she needed maximum support and assistance.  That was well over a year ago.  A few weeks ago, we had a substitute PT while ours was on vacation, and they got the parallel bars out to try again.  Sammie B's nanny was super excited to report that Sam did FABULOUSLY with them, and even took a "step or two."   So, last week when I got to go to Sammie B 's PT appointment and my little lady WALKED THE LENGTH OF THOSE BARS ALL BY HERSELF, my heart soared, and my eyes filled with tears . . . Oh my lady.  Progress.  Determination.  Perserverance.  She's got it all.  

Lunches with sisters, painting, hugs, parallel bars, progress . . . these are a few of our favorite things!

(Not so favorite -- the fact that I'm typing this at 1 am during a quick BREAK from the brief I have to finish by tomorrow am before the partners wake up! Eek.  Back at it!)



Fifth and Second

Sammie B has FIVE Halloweens in the bag, and Mia has two.  How is that even possible?!  I feel like just yesterday, Sammie B was my little (sleeping) chicken . . .

Sammie B!

2008

2009 

2010

2011

2012

The police officer costume was a total game-day change in plans.  Sammie B has been deciding between a princess or a fairy for what seems like months . . . but for the last two weeks, has been insistent that she'd be "the green fairy" or Tinkerbell.  But then I found out yesterday that they weren't dressing up at school today (lame) so this morning, when Sammie B said she wanted to wear her fairy costume, I talked her into putting this little outfit on for school with the promise that she could change into her Tinkerbell costume as soon as we got home.   (We have a lot of dress up clothes; I bought police outfit months ago, but she's always flatly refused to wear it; the princess costumes are her choices every time).  So, she wore it.  Reluctantly.  Then, I went to pick her up at school, and she told me "I don't want to be a fairy.  I want to wear this."  So she did.  All day.   I taught her to say "I'm Officer Sammie.  I'm here to help you!" and she blew her whistle all day and was a hit every where we went (PT, HPOT and to some friends' houses tonight).  And right now, she's in bed, wearing her police costume because she didn't want to take it off.

Mia Mia!

2011

2012

And our little whoopie cushion!!!!!!   I'm pretty sure Mia's costume was the favorite of everyone at daycare.  Ridiculously cute.  Ridiculous.

Happy Halloween!!!

I'm Here.

I'm still here.  We are still here.  We are doing well.  Despite a month that is kicking my ass.  I have had, "write blog post," and "Mia's birthday letter!" on my never-ending to-do list for over a week.  I'll get to them.  I will.  I'll also (hopefully soon) get to post pictures from our two birthday parties, our trip to the pumpkin patch (in sweltering 95 degree heat, a so-cal "fall" day) and our night of carving pumpkins.  I will eventually.   I hope.

Right now, I'm swimming.  I've officially billed more hours this month than I have since I went to trial in the summer of 2010.  A lot of hours.  On top of B being out of town for six days out of this month, not having childcare for another week of this month, throwing a certain little someone a first birthday party . . . I've worked a lot.   We haven't had childcare the last week, so I've been staying home with the girls, frantically answering emails when I have to, and jumping on conference calls during nap time and car rides to and from therapy appointments, and then logging onto my computer to start my work "day" the second both girls' heads hit their pillows.  I haven't slept more than a couple of hours in several nights.  I've sent drafts of motions off at 2 and 3 am every night for the last 5 nights, and I've literally climbed into bed just an hour or so before B's alarm goes off at 4:45. 

I'm exhausted.

But, I'm good.  I'm in this place right now where I'm feeling challenged and excited about work, and despite one day last week that caused some "I have too much to do and I'm not doing anything well" tears, I feel good about the job I'm doing.  So, that's good news, right?!

And, even though there was that one teary day last week (where I really, really, really wanted to flush my blackberry down the toilet because I felt like I could never just get a day off to "just" BE mama), I feel good about the job I'm doing as mama too.  I've gotten some much-needed time with both of my girls this week, and its been phenomenal.  After a PT session where Sammie B just BLEW ME AWAY yesterday (I had to explain to her what "happy tears" are . . . my girl rocked it, ya'll!), I treated the little lady to a pedicure (for both of us) and then we ran into a bakery nearby and shared a brownie.  It was such a grown-up day and so fun.

I could use more sleep, but well, things are good.  Great even. 

My blackberry crashed last night (ironic, right?!) so I have no pictures to post (boo!), but I wanted to write a quick post to say, "I'm good.  We're good."  This has been a chaotic month to say the least, but it has been a good one.  A very good one.  On the work front, on the family front.  All of it.  And that's just good.

And, Sammie B was singing with B last night . . . "I've been working on the radio, all the live long day."  And that has had me giggling ALL DAY LONG.  She really thought those were the words.   Silly, magical lady.  I also took her with me to the store over the weekend, and she was acting like a crazy woman. I asked her, "why are you acting like a maniac?" and when we got home, B asked her how the trip to the store was, and she said, "I was acting like a maniac!"  Conversations with her get more grown up every day, and B and I are just marveling at it all with so, so much pride. 

Mia Mia can't get enough of her sister and is constantly leaning in to kiss Sammie.  Can't get enough of those moments.  Mia is pure joy.  She's the most independent little thing I've ever seen, and we marvel at her too.  Non-stop. 

So tired, yes.  Exhausted, even.  Wishing sometimes that my job wasn't so stinking unpredictable and that taking a day or two or three or four "off" was easier.  But, life is good.   Really, really good.  So this exhausted mama is (while whining a little) feeling so, so blessed. 

Just Playin'

I'm so excited to share that I've recently been elected to the Board of Directors for a national non-profit that builds universally accessible playgrounds and does education programs for kids of all abilities, in an effort to reduce bias towards kids with disabilities.  Fabulous group, fabulous mission, and something I'm just so very proud to be a part of.

Last week, I took the girls to one of the playgrounds built by this organization, and we just had a blast.  Truly, truly, every playground *should* be accessible.  Every playground should be one where my two girls can play alongside each other, and alongside kids of all abilities.  A place where typical kids can see kids with disabilities playing.  So they can see the ways those kids are just like them.  A place that can spark conversations between parents and kids about how kids who might seem so very, very different at first blush are just like other kids.  Knocking down bias through play.

We are fortunate to live in a city with many accessible playgrounds.  We don't go to them nearly as often as we should . . . but everytime I do go, I leave thinking, "we have to go to the playground more often."

We do.  We have to. 

Watching Sammie B stand everywhere at that playground, with so little help, blew me away.   Progress is there, in the inchstones.  In the "is she really just holding on with one hand?" moments and the "oh my goodness, she's standing and steering the pirate ship!" moments.  It's there.  And, really, I can't think of any better way to help her "work" her little body than by playing at the park.   A park designed for, built for . . . kids of all abilities.  Designed so that my Sammie B and her sister can play right alongside each other. 

"What work I've done, I've done because it has been play." - Mark Twain



One Year.

Mia's birthday letter is forthcoming.  Suffice it to say, tonight (on her actual birthday), that I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that it's been one year since Mia Mia was born.  A year.  We will celebrate her birthday (in a big way) this weekend, but today, we had extra hugs, extra kisses, extra giggles, and extra birthday love.  And, B came home after 5 days away, so a good, good day indeed.

One year ago today, and this moment -- the moment my girls met each other for the first time -- is still, hands down, my favorite moment ever.  It feels like it was yesterday, not 365 yesterdays ago!  I can still hear Sam's giggles and squeals of glee of "Baby Mia!" when she saw her sister and held her for the first time.   My eyes filled with (happy) tears as I just looked at them, then looked at B, both of us smiling from ear to ear silently saying to each other -- with our eyes -- "they are ours! TWO!  Two little girls!  Sisters!"   So very, very blessed. 

These girls are my heart.  My heart.

Happy Birthday, Mia Mia.  We love you.  You truly are like the perfect little puzzle piece that was meant to fit in this little family.  The piece that was meant to make us four.