Eight Month Check-Up . . .

We had Sammie's 8 month checkup today and our pediatrician was REALLY happy with her progress in the last two months :o) She said she can definitely tell that she's gotten stronger, especially her neck. We were THRILLED!!! After that we had our eye doctor follow-up and got a NEW prescription so we are having her lenses changed. We also ordered a back-up pair of glasses (lavender frames :o)) with transition lenses. It was a LONG day for Sam - two appointments in a row, and no sleep all morning, but she did fabulous until the optical shop . . . when she had a slight breakdown, but she immediately fell asleep the second we got her in the car, and we came home and I took a nap with her :o) I'll be up LATE working tonight, and worked off and on in my spare time today, but it's worth it to have gone to her appointments.

We've posted a nanny ad on Craig's List and gotten TONS of responses (I'm just letting Brian weed through them, which is tough for me), but we've started interviewing, and liked the candidate today a lot.

I need to get the software for our new camera installed on the computer so I can post pics with my blogs . . . these updates without pictures must be a little disappointing!!!

!#$%&*!!!!!

Ugh. So, nanny fell through. I was under the (false) impression she was legal to work in the US given the friend that recommended her. So, I didn't ask. But, then, yesterday (also first day back at work) I called to get her SSN, only to find out --- she's NOT legal. I spent all day on the phone and internet trying to figure out a way to make it work. . . I guess residency requests (which she said she'd filed) can take forever, so I called an immigration lawyer. I called a friend that's worked in a clinic for domestic workers. I tried everything. But, its a no-go.

So, I'm beside myself (disappointed, stressed, angry) . . . I COULD have continued interviewing nannies all last week. I went back to work thinking it was all squared away and its not. Brian is going to take over the nanny hunt b/c I'm at the end of my rope (and I realize at some point, I have to give up some of the control. I can't do it all no matter how much I want to or how hard I try).

We also started the eye drops to dilate Sam's eyes and she had a reaction (toxicity symptoms) so I spent a good part of the evening last night FREAKING out and on the phone with the on-call pediatric ophthamology resident (a moron) and then our pediatrician (a saint). And, I slept on the floor next to Sam's crib to watch her. I'm just starting to feel like my poor bean (and me and Brian) just can't catch an f'in break. People have kids all the time. Morons. Drug addicts. And things somehow run smoothly. We've done everything the way we thought we were supposed to, and it feels like NOTHING is going right. Well, nothing except that our little bean is the best thing ever, even if we do have some obstacles . . . I know we will get through all of this. Yes, I know. . . . glass half full/empty . . . story of my life is trying to remember that! I know it will work out, but right now, I'm allowed to freak out a bit. I'm super bummed about this nanny business. I LOVED her. I hate the immigration system, and I get it that she's gotten a raw deal, but given B's job, it's not our place to just buck the rules b/c we disagree with the system . . . .

Birthday weekend begins . . .

So, the thirtieth birthday weekend begins. As I said, (I think) I'm indifferent to turning 30. Mother's Day weekend felt so HUGE, and all I want for my birthday is just a mellow weekend with my family and a new camera. Our digital camera has been broken for awhile . . . the screen doesn't work, so its like taking pictures in the "old" days -- you can't see them when you take them! Its been funny actually - having to look through the viewer instead of at the screen when we take pictures, and asking others to do the same when they use it - people look at us like, "what kind of archaic camera is this?"

We started the weekend on Friday with a trip to the park with my friend and her 10 month old daughter. I packed a bag with a blanket, books and toys, and we did Sam's daily exercises (tummy time, practice rolling, stretching her hips and sitting practice) at the park. It was exciting for her and a nice change of pace for me :o) She did wonderfully! I've also found that reading her books during tummy time helps -- she lifts her head HIGH to see the books. Here are a few pictures from the park:




After we did the exercises at the park, she fell asleep sitting up in my lap!!!

Saturday, the whole fam went to the California Strawberry Festival in Oxnard . . . there were SO many people! Brian wanted to enter the eating contest, but alas, we got there too late for the 1:00 one, and didn't want to stick around until the 4:30 one. We walked around a little bit, had strawberry margaritas and strawberry nachos (worth the drive!) and then set up on a blanket for the live music. We played a little, and then Sam fell alseep on the blanket. EVERYONE that walked by commented on how cute she looked (we'd dressed her in a strawberry outfit we had!). After that, Brian bought strawberries and we headed back to LA. Before coming home, we stopped and bought a new camera :o) which I'm so excited to use! Then, we picked up tacos from a favorite taco stand (one we haven't eaten from since a friend brought them to us in the NICU - which is a fabulous story itself . . . after I had those tacos - Tito's - the next day (remember I was pumping breast milk for Sam) was the first day Sam finished an entire bottle! We told the nurses, and the NICU nurses immediately started singing the Tito's Taco's commercial song . . . "We love Tito's Tacos.") Anyway, so that was our Saturday . . . a good day! And here are a few pictures from the day.


She's doing REALLY well during sitting. I told the PT on Thursday that I feel like Sam CAN sit on her own, but when I let go (I only provide a LITTLE support) she whines and cries. The PT said its just a confidence thing. She's not ready to sit on her own. She wants someone there so she feels secure. She said kids do the same thing with walking sometimes, and its normal. I can just barely sit behind her, not really with her leaning on me or anything, but as long as I'm there, she can do it. Sweet bean! She'll get there. She's really crossing her eyes again, so I'm now convinced the prescription in her glasses is too weak. We go back to the opthamologist this Wednesday (after using the drops Monday/Tuesday to dilate her pupils). I'm trying to keep from getting discouraged . . . I know the doctors will eventually figure it out! She still so happy ALL the time and such a mellow little bean! I'm so happy to have her in our lives.

So, tomorrow's the big day - 30!!! We are going to eat somewhere near the beach with friends, and then hit a park together. I can't think of any better way to ring in 30 years of me than with a day with by Brian and my Bean!!!

(I have to include random things on these blogs that I don't want to forget . . . and today it's the way she acts when she's sleepy . . . burying her head in my chest, rubbing her glasses (used to be her eyes) . . . she's so stinking cute! And, in the car, when I ride in the back with her, she holds my finger when she sleeps - she was GREAT in the car to and from Oxnard today - a total of about 4 hours in the car. I read her stories, she napped, we talked . . . she's starting to LOVE stories, she smiles at the pictures in the books).

Just an Update . . .

The Bean had a PT session today. We are still waiting on the Regional Center to assign us a permanent case worker and service providers (we know Sam was accepted to the early intervention program, but now we wait for services). In the meantime, Brian and I decided to pay for PT once a week so that we know what things to work with her on at home. Brian commented today that he can tell SUCH a difference in her strength since we've been working with her so much for the last two weeks. It truly does happen in BABY STEPS, so it's easy to get discouraged on a day-to-day basis, but looking over time, he's right --- she's stronger.

I go back to work on Monday, and the nanny doesn't start until June 22, so she'll be in daycare until that time. I'm going to try to work with her each morning so she's still getting the one-on-one time. And, I'll have to take off work for her PT appointments or work from home those days. She still has more eye appointments, but Brian is going to take off and take her to those.

This weekend is my THIRTIETH birthday!!! I've been kind of quiet about it . . . with all the chaos lately, I just want a nice quiet weekend with my two favorite people. We are driving a few hours north to the California Strawberry Festival on Saturday, and Sunday we are just going to try a new place for lunch . . . a mellow weekend. I'm kind of indifferent about my birthday. On one hand, I'm in a perfect place at 30 -- where I thought I'd be (lawyer, married to my best friend) and then some (in LA, with a baby!). I couldn't ask for any more! On the other hand, I still can't believe I'm 30 . . . really!!! Where did time go? I used to think 30 was OLD!!! But, life is good!!!

the Bean's First Fever :o(

My little bean has her first fever . . . she was crabby last night and woke up a couple times during the night (which she never does). She felt really warm, so at 5 am, I took her temperature. It was only 100.9, so not terrible, but a low fever. I gave her some tylenol, and took her to bed with me, and we slept until 8 am. She's been pretty lethargic today, but eating, and smiling, so her pediatrician said no need to bring her in unless I wanted to. I slept in her floor next to her crib last night!!!

This was not my first time sleeping there -- I slept there the first night she slept in her own room. (Brian asked, "why -- we have the monitor?" and I just said, "don't ask why, just let me do this." and he did!). I also slept there for a week when she had RSV (a bad cold, but can be serious with premies/infants). I have quite the set-up I drag out for floor sleeping, so it's not bad, and I find a great deal of comfort in being that close to her when she may need me.

I may be crazy . . . but I'll probably end up there again tonight! Poor little bean! Hope she's all better tomorrow.

Big Girl!!!

Sam was a tiny little pea when she was born -- only 5 lb, 15 oz. (That's somewhere around the 5th percentile?). Now, she's our big bean --- about 19 lbs, and in the 75th percentile. That's a lot of growing!!!! It's incredible!!! I remember when we first put her in her swing, she barely filled out the bottom, and she would topple over, so we had to put towels around her. Now, she fills it up, just like she fills up her car seat! Amazing!!! The pic of her above -- with the blanket over her -- is from this week, the others are from months ago. She's really a big girl now!!

My first mother's day!!!

We had a fabulous day. Brunch at the restaurant where Brian and I got married just over three years ago, then we came home and I read "Mama's Day Surprise" to Samantha (pictured above) and we took a nap together. Then all three of us (plus Dude) went for a walk. It was a GREAT first mother's day!!!!

I hope someday I can convey to Samantha how much she adds to my life . . . how her little smile lights up my world, how I never knew something so little could make my heart feel SO huge . . .