My Little Light

After yesterday's heavy mood and heavy post, I sent my sweet girl off to hippotherapy with her nanny (while I worked on powerpoint slides for an opening argument from bed - grr). And, a little while later, I got a text from her nanny that said, "She's doing AWESOME! Her therapist said this is the BEST session ever - her trunk control is AWESOME and they are barely even helping her." She always semems to know when her mama needs a little sunshine. And she gives so, so much sunshine.

I also had a long talk with a great friend yesterday (who read my blog then spent some time googling and researching gait trainers - yep - THAT good of a friend!) and I asked her, "would a grown-up Sammie B reading my blog feel like what SHE was doing wasn't enough for me?" And, she said, "nope, she would get how very intensely you loved her and how much you wanted to make her life easy and wonderful." I hope so.
Because truthfully, nothing about this journey has made me want more FROM Sammie B. In my moments of being discouraged, I just want more FOR her, and I wish that I could make it all easier.

Sammie B, you are a rockstar. Every single day, you rock this life. And, don't EVER for even a SECOND think that I ever wanted more FROM you, for you've given me more in your two-years and nine-months in this world than I could have ever imagined . . . I could never want any more that the abundance of love and giggles and joy and magic that you give us. I just want more FOR you. I want your life to be easy and carefree. I want you to not have to work so hard at things. And, if there was anyway I could snap my fingers and make that happen, I would. In a heartbeat, not because I want to change who you are (I don't!) but because I want an easiness for you that you haven't yet gotten to know. You, my little girl, are sunshine and magic. And, I wouldn't trade that sunshine and magic for ANYTHING.